The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
