As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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