I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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