I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I wear drunk well.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
