If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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