you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
