Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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