summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
