WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He has the fingertips of a God
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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