East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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