its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
