shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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