dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
