so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
