i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
