Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
