Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
