a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
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