Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
