I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
