you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize