I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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