I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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