So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
