our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
