the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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