At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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