i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
