Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize