so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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