He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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