Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
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Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
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He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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