someone threw a dead crab at me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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