shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
