Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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