I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
