He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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