Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
