im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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