Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
