I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
