Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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