they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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