We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
