and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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