I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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