You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
