I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
