Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
