I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
