Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
