i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
