well you can't waste a boner
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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