Your mouth is God's brothel.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
