you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
