I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
