Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
