Got a toothbrush?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
