a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
