i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
